dissatisfaction or displacement

In life we all do things we don’t like to do…things we don’t want to do, or things that make us unhappy in some way..

Maybe we feel like we’re selling out, going against what we believe or just dealing with assholes on a daily basis…it can get to be too much.

With a little perspective and a little balance, it’s not so bad…if you have good to balance or outweigh the bad, it’s just a small part of life.

But what happens when you turn around and realise that most of your life is making you unhappy.

You spend your life at work and you’re hating it. You spend your life at work so you hate your life.

You’re trying to work in an industry that you’re incredibly passionate about, but the lack of focus and quality is dragging you down…killing that passion. Is that ok?

You work long exhausting hours yet once you’ve paid your rent and bills you have an abysmal amount left to spare..thats going to limit your fun..not to mention the lack of free time…or the weather.

It’s common knowledge that the British talk about the weather incessantly…what an annoying habit! There’s more to life than the weather…or is there?

I definitely thought there was…then I moved here.

10 weeks later i can assure you that not only have i started talking about the weather, but this insanely wet, grey, cold and miserable excuse for a summer is indeed the worst bout of crap i’ve had to endure ever in my life. true story.

I’ve never even had a winter that measures up. Sure it’s cold in winter, sure it sometimes rains for a couple weeks and that sucks. But this? This is far beyond belief.

Oh and supposedly there’s a drought here. You have got to be kidding me.

It’s mental how much the (bad) weather actually affects you. Ok when you’re working pretty much daily, and you’re inside, it’s not so bad…in fact it’s probably made work better, i don’t have envy for those who are out and about…the only place i’d rather be is bed

But when you’re getting up to yet another grey and rainy day at 5.30am…and you haven’t seen the sky let alone the sun in what feels like forever…it sure is hard to be upbeat and positive about life on a daily basis.

Ok so this is seemingly grim. But maybe it all comes together in a dark place to lead you to the light…? Maybe the sun will eventually shine and summer will get it’s shit together and finally grace us with some damned dryness.

Getting to a place of deep dissatisfaction can be a good thing if it forces you to shake it up and demand more for yourself. A place where that far flung dream of not being unhappy and not working for dickheads makes you decide that you will make it happen. And not far down the line either, it needs to be something you can smell, otherwise what the hell is going to get you out of bed on yet another rainy day?

That dream is alive and well, it’s thriving and with every shitty day, where something crap happens at work, someone pisses you off and continues to grind down your sense of humor, passion and die-hard positivity, the absolute need for this dream to become a reality grows stronger.

The time is now, this can no longer wait, something has to change today, because tomorrow’s not looking so bright and those dull days sure are changing me in a way i don’t like at all.

I refuse to become a bitter product of my grey and crappy environment.

So does creating your very own vision in turn create your space, your home? Is home really where your heart is? How do you go about choosing that place to settle for a little while and commit?

If the visa gods were not running this overly controlled world, I probably wouldn’t be in this unhappy place right now. In fact I definitely wouldn’t be. But then that’s how the world has gone and there’s no way around it at this point in time.

Do we go for logic and practicality? I’ve always been a fan of logic, yet I tend to live my life in a more nomadic, spur of the moment style and its worked well for me. Until I couldn’t be in the only place I wanted to be…then my heart wasn’t allowed to choose and my head didn’t know where to go.

If setting up a business is already a difficult and trying thing, maybe having some kind of contacts and a shared first language is a good start…lets not make it harder than it needs to be right? But if the logical place is where you’re already unhappy, can you change that relation and make it a happy place through creating the place of your dreams?

I definitely don’t fit the British. They don’t get me. But that’s ok. I’m convinced I can create my own space of belonging…here or elsewhere

It will happen…because doing not quite what you want to is so boring

under the pump

happily it’s not yet been a month since my last post…but close…ahhh i am so flat out at the moment i not only have no time but sadly, have nothing exciting to write about!

having picked up a second job on weekends i’m now without a day off…but loving it! now to find some time for those pesty assignments…who can be bothered? bring on full time work i say! yea it’s not quite as flexible sure – you can’t just not go in when you can’t be bothered…but still, you’re earning a living and i for one learn heaps faster on the job…as well as actually enjoying myself…i love the pressure, there’s nothing better than being totally flat out, when you’re working with competent, capable people of course…if you’re with complete retards there’s probably nothing worse!

so the exciting part is that i’m going away for easter…a little BBB break…and by that i mean Bellingen, Byron and Brisbane…cannot wait to get out of here!! for the past few weeks it has been my absolute saviour knowing that i’ll soon be gone for an entire week without work, assignments, oh and finding a place to live…that’s right i have to move again!

anyway it’s all ok and worth it…in 10 days ill be flying north towards sunshine, great company and awesome music (hopefully – bluesfest…we’ll see) either way…beaches…sunshine…no work!!!!!!! too good..bring it on…

for now though, it’s pissing down…after 2 really hot days…ahh Melbourne….back to gumtree and flatmate finders for me…

hope to have a bit more of a social life next week and get some photos up…no promises though….there will definitely be photos of my trip though!

A Queenslander in the Garden State

A couple of weeks ago now I had a friend down from Brisbane for 2 weeks…so here’s a little summary of what we got up to in that time amongst many other crazy times…

Foster the People at the Northcote Social Club…I’d never heard of these guys before my gig buddy suggested we go see them (they sold out both nights on their first ever international tour) Ok so most people who listen to the radio have heard of them…apparently they were huge on triple J…and by the way most people were singing along to the songs off their EP I imagine they’re quite popular…they were awesome.

It could look like this photos out of focus, but actually it’s perfectly captured the energy and movement of Foster the People…they were crazy energetic and moved all the instruments around between each song, swapping each other and rearranging the stage…it was nuts! Their new stuff (yet to be released) was so good, and I do love going to a gig when I don’t know any of their music…I feel like I have a different experience and I’m not waiting for that one song I’ve heard a few times…seems like some people do that…when I saw The Naked and Famous a couple weeks ago it felt like some people (those next to me) were bored, and didn’t expect the rest of their music to be so “rocky” (it was a bloody awesome gig too, they were rad) but stood there (next to me) complaining about it being hot…and blocking my view whilst not even getting into it…until they played their hit song…the dancy one…I can’t remember the name of it (who cares really) anyway the point being that going to a gig when you don’t know the music can be the best way (my opinion) and that people who only know one song and don’t like to expand their horizons should stay at home…or go elsewhere…just don’t stand in front of me bitching

So Stephanie studies Art History and writes an art blog (on the Brisbane art scene) and so naturally we spent most of our free time (not that there was much of that) traipsing the back streets and laneways of Fitzroy and the city (mainly) looking at graph art and paste ups…Melbourne has such a great scene for graph art, and compared to other Aus cities it’s more widely accepted here as an actual art form…this proven by our visit later in the week to the Until Never Gallery, off Hosier Lane in the city…where Brisbane street artist, Shida was exhibiting and had work for sale.

Above: Sri Ganesh – Hosier Lane, Melbourne

Ganesh…the god of travel and new beginnings…

The photos below are Shida’s work, some on the walls around Hosier Lane, and the last one is one of the pieces for sale at the exhibition…it’s a resin piece on an old drawer…so awesome


Stephanie eventually left Melbourne pretty reluctantly…who can blame her though..best city right here…

Oh, and there are plans to move here next year

Monk Bodhi Dharma…the skinny of it

Yesterday morning despite the rain and feeling pretty seedy my friend and I managed to drag ourselves out of bed for want of caffeine and actually located Monk Bodhi Dharma. Like all of  Melbourne’s best spots it’s down an alleyway near the Safeway carpark behind Carlisle St, Balaclava (or St Kilda East…it’s the same suburb yea?)

I’d heard of it before and like the coffee fanatic I am, just had to go and see for myself…I hear the food is great but that will be another trip…

The coffee was, as reputed, very good. But the one thing that I really really loved about this place…no skim milk.

Brilliant.

I’ve always said when I open my own place I won’t have any skim milk…I realise a lot of people order skinny milk…but really it’s only 2% less than the full fattiness of fat milk at 4% fat…huge really…maybe just drink less? or start taking your coffee black? How about you just add water next time…

I reckon it’s hard to cut out such a huge percentage of customers (a majority of orders where I work are skim) but on the principle of it, that’s what I would do too…sure you need soy for those who can’t actually drink milk…for medical or other reasons…but I applaud them for doing it, and being rated one of Melbourne’s top coffee spots…people were literally standing in the rain waiting for a table.

Now that’s some dedication for a coffee.

flood relief @ The Espy

so I saw this poster when I was at the Espy a while ago and got pretty excited about the cover bands…not really noticing that it was for QLD flood relief…not that I’m not into helping the flood victims…of course when I found out it was for flood relief I was even happier about it.

now I haven’t seen a cover band per say…I’ve seen bands do covers, which is cool…there’s usually 2 ways to go about it…either you play the song as the original band played it (to the best of your ability) or you change it and play it in an original version, which can be good too…depending on the band..

I should have known with a name like Shred Zeppelin, what was going to be in store…without photos as proof, no one can really understand the awesomely horrendous gig that ensued…the lead singer’s resemblance to Robert Plant ends with a big pouf of long blond curls…his goatee resembling The Zohan a little more…I was disgusted by the pot belly hanging out of his open shirt (why!?) in an attempt to resemble his idol…and between the Blue Steel pouting and the interpretive dance (spirit fingers included), it was clear that many hours of video footage have been clocked up in every attempt to impersonate the epic singer.

the absolute best/worst part of it all was the female backup singer…to hit the high notes for our lead singer…I mean if you can’t hit the high notes what the hell are you doing in a Led Zep cover band?? the best member of the band (who may not even be part of the band?) was the guy on harmonica, who did some great “guitar solos” but really pulled them off…who is this band anyway?

after almost an hour break (and no drinks allowed outside) it was time for the Doors show…I dare say our lead had a good voice were it not for him bragging about being “so fucked on….you use your imagination…” – so…nothing? as he was swigging from a bottle of Jim Beam – who drinks JB straight anyway? and asked for a lighter for the audience to light his cigarette…I mean how awesomely rock n roll is this guy anyway? It was an amusing act, as we watched what was an accurate imitation of some of Morrison’s gigs…the try hard outdone only but the ancient guitarist (who was actually incredible) but unfortunately also looked like a closet serial killer, intense with concentration…

overall it was a fine line between enjoying great music, and ignoring that it was being horribly butchered…knowing the lead singers of both bands were rolling in their graves at that very moment…the bizarre mix of people, ages and backgrounds truly shows what the Espy, St Kilda and great music is about

I’m partly relieved that I didn’t have my camera…now back to the couch with more coffee…mmm coffee…

it was fun overall though I did have to make a quit exit as soon as the first notes of Stairway to Heaven started, not being able to stand the butchering of such an epic song.

now for something more enjoyable on this rainy grey sunday

St Kilda Live & Local Photos

Here is a selection of my photos from Live & Local week (a couple of weeks ago now)…they’re also on the facebook page for St Kilda Festival, though this is my selection (not a fan of them all)

That week was my first time shooting live bands at gigs..it was a lot of fun, though pretty tiring…the main thing i learnt about the whole thing is that bands are pretty hard to take photos of. They move a lot. And most of the bands I was shooting were up and coming bands, those not quite used to being on stage (from what I could tell) and some of them were so shy they were facing each other with their backs to the audience….hello…that’s not how it works here….you may be shy, but putting on a show is part of being a musician right…

Anyway short of telling them to turn around (I tried a couple of times) there’s not a lot I can do about it really…at the end of the day they’re the ones looking stupid in the photos…oh and the lighting! my god!! Most of these venues had pretty much no lights…making it pretty difficult for me…short of setting the lights up myself (which I did at the Sea Baths a couple of times…I now know where they keep their power boards and extension cables too)

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Good Vibes and getting over the Local

well St Kilda festival’s Live & Local was a total success, exhausting but so much fun! apart from some technical issues (more related to venues, organisers and bands) everything went pretty smoothly (if only an hour late or so every day…)

there are so many amazing bands playing in some rad venues around St Kilda,
I’ll get some of those photos up soon, they are currently on the facebook page for St Kilda Festival

after 8 days of running around St Kilda, to about 4-6 bands a night and so many venues (I can’t even recall how many now) I was pretty over it and so so tired, but it was well worth it

so here are a couple of photos from Good Vibes…thankfully it ended up being a beautiful day and the bands were incredible…mainly Phoenix which is the reason I was there…they were so worth the ticket price, they put on an amazing show

once I get the OK from the organisers the Live & Local photos will be up too…