dissatisfaction or displacement

In life we all do things we don’t like to do…things we don’t want to do, or things that make us unhappy in some way..

Maybe we feel like we’re selling out, going against what we believe or just dealing with assholes on a daily basis…it can get to be too much.

With a little perspective and a little balance, it’s not so bad…if you have good to balance or outweigh the bad, it’s just a small part of life.

But what happens when you turn around and realise that most of your life is making you unhappy.

You spend your life at work and you’re hating it. You spend your life at work so you hate your life.

You’re trying to work in an industry that you’re incredibly passionate about, but the lack of focus and quality is dragging you down…killing that passion. Is that ok?

You work long exhausting hours yet once you’ve paid your rent and bills you have an abysmal amount left to spare..thats going to limit your fun..not to mention the lack of free time…or the weather.

It’s common knowledge that the British talk about the weather incessantly…what an annoying habit! There’s more to life than the weather…or is there?

I definitely thought there was…then I moved here.

10 weeks later i can assure you that not only have i started talking about the weather, but this insanely wet, grey, cold and miserable excuse for a summer is indeed the worst bout of crap i’ve had to endure ever in my life. true story.

I’ve never even had a winter that measures up. Sure it’s cold in winter, sure it sometimes rains for a couple weeks and that sucks. But this? This is far beyond belief.

Oh and supposedly there’s a drought here. You have got to be kidding me.

It’s mental how much the (bad) weather actually affects you. Ok when you’re working pretty much daily, and you’re inside, it’s not so bad…in fact it’s probably made work better, i don’t have envy for those who are out and about…the only place i’d rather be is bed

But when you’re getting up to yet another grey and rainy day at 5.30am…and you haven’t seen the sky let alone the sun in what feels like forever…it sure is hard to be upbeat and positive about life on a daily basis.

Ok so this is seemingly grim. But maybe it all comes together in a dark place to lead you to the light…? Maybe the sun will eventually shine and summer will get it’s shit together and finally grace us with some damned dryness.

Getting to a place of deep dissatisfaction can be a good thing if it forces you to shake it up and demand more for yourself. A place where that far flung dream of not being unhappy and not working for dickheads makes you decide that you will make it happen. And not far down the line either, it needs to be something you can smell, otherwise what the hell is going to get you out of bed on yet another rainy day?

That dream is alive and well, it’s thriving and with every shitty day, where something crap happens at work, someone pisses you off and continues to grind down your sense of humor, passion and die-hard positivity, the absolute need for this dream to become a reality grows stronger.

The time is now, this can no longer wait, something has to change today, because tomorrow’s not looking so bright and those dull days sure are changing me in a way i don’t like at all.

I refuse to become a bitter product of my grey and crappy environment.

So does creating your very own vision in turn create your space, your home? Is home really where your heart is? How do you go about choosing that place to settle for a little while and commit?

If the visa gods were not running this overly controlled world, I probably wouldn’t be in this unhappy place right now. In fact I definitely wouldn’t be. But then that’s how the world has gone and there’s no way around it at this point in time.

Do we go for logic and practicality? I’ve always been a fan of logic, yet I tend to live my life in a more nomadic, spur of the moment style and its worked well for me. Until I couldn’t be in the only place I wanted to be…then my heart wasn’t allowed to choose and my head didn’t know where to go.

If setting up a business is already a difficult and trying thing, maybe having some kind of contacts and a shared first language is a good start…lets not make it harder than it needs to be right? But if the logical place is where you’re already unhappy, can you change that relation and make it a happy place through creating the place of your dreams?

I definitely don’t fit the British. They don’t get me. But that’s ok. I’m convinced I can create my own space of belonging…here or elsewhere

It will happen…because doing not quite what you want to is so boring

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london in the summertime

so i finally got around to loading some photos from my first few weeks after australia….these are from london…from a time not too long ago when the sun was shining and the people were smiling…

it always amazes me how much a place changes from summer to winter…london is truly one of those places that is vastly different when the sun is out.

if you visit in the summer (or that lucky few weeks when it actually is summer) it’s almost a magical place, everyone is happy and outside, it almost sparkles….compare it to the drearier months of the year when people rush around with their heads down on their way to wherever it is they’re going…people are somewhat less friendly when it’s cold. winter isn’t welcoming we’ll say…

anyway i’m heading back there in about 10 days or so, i hear there are still warm sunny days…after weeks in france and italy i won’t count on that warmth….i’m kind of looking forward to layering again though…

 

i’ve been getting comfy back at home for a while, and it’s been so good to do very little but relax and eat loads of amazing food! also i discovered a little of northern france, coastal italy and Milan and spent a few days in Paris….some photos of some of that will be up soon…

i’m off to Barcelona next week then back to london for a bit before heading towards scandinavia…germany…netherlands…and wherever else takes my fancy…i’m shopping for a city!

one thing is for sure, it has to be a great coffee city….i am in serious lack of great coffee…

Bellingen…Byron…Brisbane…Easter Break

Over Easter I took a week off and went up to NSW to stay with some friends and do a mini road trip up towards Brisbane…here is a tiny selection of my photos from that trip….looking at those clear blue skies I can’t help reminiscing of a time when the weather was warm and there was nothing to do but relax…sounds like it’s time for another trip…

Above, Black Star Coffee, West End, Brisbane…cute little cafe in the back streets of West End, impressively roasting and bottling iced coffee on site

Bieber fever indeed, waiting to pick up Jina amongst the madness…

Despair in the departure lounge…stuck in Brisbane airport waiting for a flight out of there….9 hours later I’ve not only made friends and threatened many a Tiger Airlines employee, but have really built up a general hatred for the company and the airport…my plans to take them down are still brewing away…oh, and I’m still waiting for that reimbursement they promised…hah

Monk Bodhi Dharma…the skinny of it

Yesterday morning despite the rain and feeling pretty seedy my friend and I managed to drag ourselves out of bed for want of caffeine and actually located Monk Bodhi Dharma. Like all of  Melbourne’s best spots it’s down an alleyway near the Safeway carpark behind Carlisle St, Balaclava (or St Kilda East…it’s the same suburb yea?)

I’d heard of it before and like the coffee fanatic I am, just had to go and see for myself…I hear the food is great but that will be another trip…

The coffee was, as reputed, very good. But the one thing that I really really loved about this place…no skim milk.

Brilliant.

I’ve always said when I open my own place I won’t have any skim milk…I realise a lot of people order skinny milk…but really it’s only 2% less than the full fattiness of fat milk at 4% fat…huge really…maybe just drink less? or start taking your coffee black? How about you just add water next time…

I reckon it’s hard to cut out such a huge percentage of customers (a majority of orders where I work are skim) but on the principle of it, that’s what I would do too…sure you need soy for those who can’t actually drink milk…for medical or other reasons…but I applaud them for doing it, and being rated one of Melbourne’s top coffee spots…people were literally standing in the rain waiting for a table.

Now that’s some dedication for a coffee.